Allison Morphis

The Ballad of Allison Morphis

Gather round folks for a story fair

About a reptile wrangler extraordinaire.


She filled up her kitchen with pans and pots,

Not for fillings, pies, and sauces hot,

But for squigglers, wriggles, and things that hop.

Her mother exclaimed, “Allie, please stop!”

But she’d only cuddle another axolotl,

Feeding it mushed worms from a bottle.


After years of gathering this vertebrate mass,

An expected happy event would pass.

In college, she met a dude named Wes,

And full knowledge of this zoological mess,

He proposed nuptials and marital bliss,

So Allison gives her toad a last warty kiss.


Together they traveled far and wide,

Til they landed Oklahoma side.

Desperately needing some checking account filler,

She found her way to the labs of one Dr. Miller.

Even if it was snakes that she held dear,

It was colonies of mice she’d now help rear.

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